Real Love

Maybe this post will seem sappy to some. But fear of doing sappy things is why it is not done all that much. But truthfully, these are things that need to be said and heard often! Be careful with love. Be sure you know what it is before you declare you are in/doing/having it.
If you have sex before you are married, you have been unfaithful to your spouse before you even met or married them. Think that over a bit. It is profound and I learned it from an old Andy Hardy movie of all things. If your spouse was the 'one' you did this with, you did not love them as you should have or that would not have occurred. Make up for lost time on this. It is never too late. Real love does not make babies out of wedlock even if they marry later. It just does not. It considers the implications and the harm and the law of G-d and stops ! If it already has, it improves and move on up higher on the linear line toward G-d.

What is real love? It can only be defined by actions since it is something you do. It is not something you just 'feel'. Love is actions toward others and toward G-d. Real love looks at a situation and analyzes it. Let me give an example:

"This is my front porch. I see I have a loose cinder block that is in
danger of coming out whilst someone is standing on it. I had better replace or
repair it immediately'

Real love in action looks at a situation and thinks of others and their life and safety and goes to work ensuring it. Tanakh speaks of it by telling you to put a railing around your roof .. in regard to the old flat type roof that people used to walk upon. This is love towards your neighbor and your own. Is your yard a mess? Real love towards others considers the effect on the neighborhood and cleans it up immediately to avoid bringing down the looks and ambiance of the place just for the sake of others.
Is your library book overdue? Real love returns it as promptly as it can so that no one has to wait inordinately for it. Is your cooking good? Real love cares if others are pleased with things .
Real love is vigilant to see that children are respectful, well behaved and considerate of others at home and in public for their own sake and for the sake of others. In the case of premarital relationships, real love looks at the chance to be intimate with someone and says, this is not what G-d wants. Out of respect and love for G-d, they do not do it. Out of respect for unborn children they don't and out of respect for the harm it can do to one another they also refrain. You don't hear things like 'ahh. so what, who cares what they think' from real G-dly love for G-d has told us to love our brother. G-dly love does its work with all its might for 'whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all of your might'. It doesn't wait for 'George' to do it. The G-dly person is the best employee as far as working, being on time, quality of workmanship, honesty and loyalty and being respectful to authority that is decent. True love of G-d prevents the good person from short changing someone or cheating them in any way. That person is scrupulous in its business dealings and friendly to a fault. Without G-dly love in your character, there can be no true romance either. If you cannot love G-d who created you, who has done all for you and gives to you daily out of pure love, how can you hope to love someone else , even your own children who might not do anything for you at all? You can't for real love is based on the principles of G-dly love which is the spirit of giving and concern and care for another.

Real love builds up while hate tears down.

Real love is concerned for the welfare of others.

Real love is not simpery or whimpy but can be stern and unbending if the situation calls for it.. but out of love.

Real love sees needs and if its within their hand to do..fulfills those needs as much
as they can

Sometimes that means an encouraging word, a smile, a kindly phrase or act. It can turn a day around.

In the Shoprite, a checkout girl was fuming! The scowl on her face could have melted steel. She brusquely threw things around on the counter and into bags without a nod or smile or word. This girl was upset. Customers were whispering about her and how mean she was. But some know what it can be like to work on your feet for hours and encounter mean people at the check out. So someone smiled at her and said, someone has hurt you today and you work so hard, I am so sorry. She looked up with shock on her face. "Yes", she said, "Some people just think I am a work animal and I was up all night with my son who is sick and now sometimes management, customers, I mean it's just too much sometimes". "Yes it is " the person replied, "way over the top , but I hope you know there are people who appreciate you". She was smiling now and her face relaxed. See, thats all she needed. Someone to validate her , care about her and her situation .

It takes nothing to be kind to someone, even your own kids, your spouse, anyone in your realm. It costs you nothing and it can give such returns. How hard is it to show the love of G-d with a smile to your employees, your customers, your family and friends? Not only isn't it difficult , its life giving to others. We never know where another person has been in their day and what awful things some endure on their way through life. Can't we lighten one another's burdens and help them bear the load? We ask G-d to bear with us all the time and yet are we bearing with others? "Oh, Hashem help me! This is too much for me to bear!." But have you borne the burdens of someone else yourself ? Believe me kindliness bears all kinds of burdens without complaint.
How can you show love during your day?

Open the door for that lady with kids and a stroller. Don't watch her struggle
..run to help! Just as G-d says that he comes on wings of an eagle to fight for
us, so too should you be swift as an eagle to help. Be a messenger in this.

Smile and say thank you. Smile and say, You're welcome. Smile and say,
have a nice day and try to mean it! Are you shy? Get over it. Give Give Give and
the shyness will depart.

Be patient in line. Think, if I didnt need to
learn this, I would not be here waiting and then endure.

Give comfort and help to the elderly. Visit them, smile at them, help them with shopping etc.

Seek out the widow and the orphan to give help to.

Go clean up the widow's yard. Cut her grass and paint that run down siding for her.

Bring in her mail, enquire about her health . Call on snowy or bad
weather days to see if she is alright. etc...etc......

A person can never out-do or out give G-d , nor can we out-love him . But we are in his image and that means it is within our reach to emulate him as best we can.