This sad article just appeared in the Canuck Times, a reliable and highly respected news source in Canada.
The latest scuttlebut is that Canadians "distrust" America and that they do not see the US as a force for good in the world.
"Canadians live far more wonderful-er den dem Americans down south dere, eh?" said Butch La Pierre, spokesman for Canada's "We Ain't No Hicks" campaign which seeks to over turn the stereotype of Canadians as drunken backwoods hicks who subsist on beer , coffee, cigarettes and marry their sisters.
"It's a mystery ta me whar we git that reputation"said Butch as he stubbed out his home rolled cigarette in his armpit.
This year the US will give an estimated $26Billion dollars in foreign aid to various nations, including Canada which received quite a lot.
Private Americans.. in addition to the heavy taxes taken for that foreign aid... also give a whooping $258 BILLION out of their pockets to charities around the world and at home, including in Canada.
Canadians sent grocery store coupons to Newfoundland in an effort to stave off hunger there.
Canada gives 0.7% of her gross national product out in foreign aid, totalling the grand sum of $1.98.
"There really does appear to be a hardy strain of anti-Americanism in Canada," said Andrew Cohen ,who is head of Historica Dominion Institute.
"Almost half of us don't believe America is a force for good in the world, even with Obama as president."
This explains a lot!
"Then again" said Cohen's assistant Marge, "dern near half of us ain't graduated high school". She smiled and sipped more of her Molson Ice , a fine Canadian beer.
It is odd that it never occurs to Canadians that , living in North America, they too are "Americans".
Canada makes it's major income by taking in American cast off television shows and renting out a wheat field as a sound stage and multiple hundreds of thousand Canadians from their welfare rolls to play major parts on American television and in movies.
Canadian actors, who once starved to death on the streets of it's major cities, like MooseJaw, Ontario, now sport their "eh's" and "ooos" in the USA where they can get a decent meal and live like human beings in houses and wear shoes.
Anti-Americanism in Canada is due to jealousy of their richer brother to the south and a hefty dose of racism as Americans tend to be tanner than Canadians who live where the sun don't shine.
Johnny LaPierre, a typical Canadian, commented, "I don't trust dem there Americans , eh?
I just sit back here on my porch and do what's right like all Canadians do, eh?
"I'm not big on them there foreigners south o' da border , you know" said LaPierre as he opened another LaBatt Blue by slamming the can on his forehead.
"Yeah, we are a welfare state, but it keeps us outta trouble cuz we don't do nuttin" his brother Canute added."Ya can't get in no trouble sitting on yer front porch, eh?"
His brother and his sister Fifi, who is also his wife, concurred with Johnny and smiling with gap teeth, they admitted to just a wee tad bit of jealousy.
Mrs. LaPierre said, "With our socialist medicine I will be gittin myself new teeth here in about 10 years time. I am moving on up da waiting list".
Twirling the toe of her Storm trooper boot in the snow, Fifi giggled as she heard her husband/brother say that he would never leave Canada on account of Tim Horton coffee and good Canadian beers.
"I can't say as that I would'a git a better meal than what Horton's can provide fer me if I was to get down there among them tanned American imperialist swine" he said while daubing dribbling beer off his belly.
His brother Canute agreed by wildly shaking his head despite his sister's insistance that the loose bullets in his cranium might explode by doing so.
Canute suffered the injury in a brawl at the SnowPack Saloon a few years back.
His family are not worried.
"It goes along with the lead in his butt. Remember Dad always yelling at you to get the lead outta yer butt Canute?" recalled Johnny.
Johnny is a veteran who served in the Canadian Navy which is anchored in Sven Olafson's Giddy-Up Marina in Minnesota.
All 5 of their birch war canoes are there at present, one having just returned from the Caribbean where it took a beating from Pirates.
Reports from Ottawa on the naval situation,slowly reached the outside world once the thick ice and moose droppings were chipped off the tin can and waxed strings that were downed in the streets in the latest blizzard.
Disclaimer: Absolutely NO Canadians were harmed in the making of this post.
© and for the record, Lemon Loves Canada♥ .
The latest scuttlebut is that Canadians "distrust" America and that they do not see the US as a force for good in the world.
"Canadians live far more wonderful-er den dem Americans down south dere, eh?" said Butch La Pierre, spokesman for Canada's "We Ain't No Hicks" campaign which seeks to over turn the stereotype of Canadians as drunken backwoods hicks who subsist on beer , coffee, cigarettes and marry their sisters.
"It's a mystery ta me whar we git that reputation"said Butch as he stubbed out his home rolled cigarette in his armpit.
This year the US will give an estimated $26Billion dollars in foreign aid to various nations, including Canada which received quite a lot.
Private Americans.. in addition to the heavy taxes taken for that foreign aid... also give a whooping $258 BILLION out of their pockets to charities around the world and at home, including in Canada.
Canadians sent grocery store coupons to Newfoundland in an effort to stave off hunger there.
Canada gives 0.7% of her gross national product out in foreign aid, totalling the grand sum of $1.98.
"There really does appear to be a hardy strain of anti-Americanism in Canada," said Andrew Cohen ,who is head of Historica Dominion Institute.
"Almost half of us don't believe America is a force for good in the world, even with Obama as president."
This explains a lot!
"Then again" said Cohen's assistant Marge, "dern near half of us ain't graduated high school". She smiled and sipped more of her Molson Ice , a fine Canadian beer.
It is odd that it never occurs to Canadians that , living in North America, they too are "Americans".
Canada makes it's major income by taking in American cast off television shows and renting out a wheat field as a sound stage and multiple hundreds of thousand Canadians from their welfare rolls to play major parts on American television and in movies.
Canadian actors, who once starved to death on the streets of it's major cities, like MooseJaw, Ontario, now sport their "eh's" and "ooos" in the USA where they can get a decent meal and live like human beings in houses and wear shoes.
Anti-Americanism in Canada is due to jealousy of their richer brother to the south and a hefty dose of racism as Americans tend to be tanner than Canadians who live where the sun don't shine.
Johnny LaPierre, a typical Canadian, commented, "I don't trust dem there Americans , eh?
I just sit back here on my porch and do what's right like all Canadians do, eh?
"I'm not big on them there foreigners south o' da border , you know" said LaPierre as he opened another LaBatt Blue by slamming the can on his forehead.
"Yeah, we are a welfare state, but it keeps us outta trouble cuz we don't do nuttin" his brother Canute added."Ya can't get in no trouble sitting on yer front porch, eh?"
His brother and his sister Fifi, who is also his wife, concurred with Johnny and smiling with gap teeth, they admitted to just a wee tad bit of jealousy.
Mrs. LaPierre said, "With our socialist medicine I will be gittin myself new teeth here in about 10 years time. I am moving on up da waiting list".
Twirling the toe of her Storm trooper boot in the snow, Fifi giggled as she heard her husband/brother say that he would never leave Canada on account of Tim Horton coffee and good Canadian beers.
"I can't say as that I would'a git a better meal than what Horton's can provide fer me if I was to get down there among them tanned American imperialist swine" he said while daubing dribbling beer off his belly.
His brother Canute agreed by wildly shaking his head despite his sister's insistance that the loose bullets in his cranium might explode by doing so.
Canute suffered the injury in a brawl at the SnowPack Saloon a few years back.
His family are not worried.
"It goes along with the lead in his butt. Remember Dad always yelling at you to get the lead outta yer butt Canute?" recalled Johnny.
Johnny is a veteran who served in the Canadian Navy which is anchored in Sven Olafson's Giddy-Up Marina in Minnesota.
All 5 of their birch war canoes are there at present, one having just returned from the Caribbean where it took a beating from Pirates.
Reports from Ottawa on the naval situation,slowly reached the outside world once the thick ice and moose droppings were chipped off the tin can and waxed strings that were downed in the streets in the latest blizzard.
Disclaimer: Absolutely NO Canadians were harmed in the making of this post.
© and for the record, Lemon Loves Canada♥ .
Never thought of it before , but suddenly , the national anthem is sounding more deprecatory _" Ohhhhh! CANADA !!"
ReplyDeleteThe article was a bit difficult to read towards the end...couldn't see through tears of mirth...kept losing my place ,in helpless fits of loud laughter...
I got my teeth in 2 years , so much for your waiting list.
ReplyDeleteAnd I am not married to my sister.
I married my cousin Sabina from Moncton.She's a honey too.
I bet LaBatt paid you for all them promotions your giving them eh?
I dont know where you got them photos.
ReplyDeleteI can buy nice shirts in Canada that cover more of my belly than that.
eh me not so sure about dis here article
ReplyDeleteGo back to Canuck Land where ye come from Knishski.
ReplyDeleteGrab yerself a few good brewskis before you exile yourself back to the land of nod too.
On a more serious note, perhaps Canadians would look on us in a bad light because of our MASSIVE failings in helping our own citizens. Something is very wrong when your country can afford to assist and aid people outside of its borders before helping their own citizenry. This has been going on for generations, and ironically, Tom T. Hall (not a Canadian, but ironic because his genre is country) sang about it in his song America The Ugly.
ReplyDeleteAmerica does help it's own in a big way despite propaganda to the contrary by socialists who would love to take over the nation.
ReplyDeletePeople on welfare in America have IPods, 200 dollar sneakers, expensive jackets, cars, cable television and computer access not to mention the computers.
They have DVDs and Blue ray..
high def television sets.
Many are profoundly overweight
No starvation going on here.
American health care is next to none in quality. Its why foreigners flock here and pay any price for good care.
No one is denied health care by law!!
Doctors take charity cases of those without welfare and medicaid or insurance. No one has to go without unless they choose to do so.
You are very , very misinformed.
I should also say that if America DIDNT help other nations its detractors would be calling us selfish and unconcerned.
ReplyDeleteSee for people like that, its never enough. America is always damned in their eyes, their EVIL eyes might I say.
It is true that many canadians say they hate America, repeating what they hear from canadian mainstream media which is extreme far-left. We are fighting the same evil in Canada than in United States. A good conservative Canadian blog is Canadian Sentinel http://www.thecanadiansentinel.blogspot.com/ who has excellent comments on current situation both in Canada and United States.
ReplyDeleteP.S. "You can't get in no trouble sitting on yer front porch, eh?" Wrong! Many canadians on welfare, addicted to beer and cocaine, do vandalize their neighbours' houses during the day, while the neighbours are gone to work, get caught, go to prison for a few months, and back in the neighborhood again, for the same terrorist routine.
As Mr. Hall said "I guess we're gonna try to tell him, it ain't so".
ReplyDelete